5 Things That Surprised Me as a New Momma

Just a few things I’ve realized over the last few months as a new Mom – besides the obvious parts, like loving the little chubby bubbie to death. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I know what I’m doing 100% of the time – but I do feel like I have it figured out most of the time. ;) and look – memes and somee cards.

1. Internet Friends (or “pretend” friends as my Mom and I also call them)
Because of social media I have made some great new friends. They had their babies just days before/after I had Ford. We’ve exchanged numbers and text all the time. It’s so (SO) nice to have someone there who is going through the same stuff at the same time. We get to compare notes on kids, discuss the dreaded Wonder Weeks, and vent about all things frustrating (i.e. trying to find a damn house!). I absolutely LOVE Jenn (from Peas & Crayons) and Kendra (from Domestic Princess in Training). I wish I could move to Texas and have Ford & Weston grow up to be best buddies (and I would totally be Kendra’s photog assistant) and I wish I could move to N.C. and start the betrothal process between Mia and Ford (ok… and be Jenn’s official taste tester). I am so thankful I have found these 2 girls. I love them (in a non-creepy, not-stalkerish way). ;)

Cool Mom

2. Cleaned House (aka removing “friends” from social media and in real life)
If you are a new mom you know how limited your free time is and how important schedules are. Your life changes overnight and priorities change instantly. Ford is my first priority, obviously, Diz might be tied up there… but Ford is my main bubbie. ha! But that doesn’t mean I don’t value my friendships, it’s just that I have learned (albeit slowly) that if someone isn’t making my life better or offering REAL friendship then I do not need to waste what little free time I have on them. I “cleaned house” on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter – I even had to block someone (she made some rude comment about working moms *boo – hiss* Don’t need that in my life). I need real friends, people who understand me & my special level of crazy. I need friendships that are mutually beneficial – a one-sided friendship is extremely hard to maintain and takes it toll on an emotional level. I think this is one of those things that any new Mom understands. I read a great post that talks about this – check it out here.

Spring Cleaning

3. Baby Weight (umm… it’s STILL here)
Okay – Some of it is still here. I’m 9 months post partum and I’m still wearing my “maternity” scrubs (basically just L and XL size scrubs, when I was a M before). My legs and hips are still so W–I–D–E! I have gone back to some of my pre-pregnancy tops, but they fit tighter than I’d like. Also – still rocking the maternity undies. Screw Victoria’s Secret – Motherhood Maternity knows how to make a comfy pair of undies! In all seriousness – I gained a LOT of weight when I was pregnant. Nursing did not help me lose weight, nor did I lose that “last 10 pounds” after I stopped nursing (like I was told would happen by many friends). I have multiple 10 pound increments that I need to lose (not just one!). I am not one of those lucky girls who’s baby weight just melted off. I’m FINALLY getting my shit in gear and losing some weight. I’m back at Weight Watchers and starting to run and train for some half marathons. But it’s hard and OH-SO-HUMBLING.

baby weight

4. “Experts” drive me NUTS
I’m pretty sure every new mom is worried that they are doing something wrong and that they are going to “ruin” their child. I’ve read a LOT on parenting advice (books and websites) and have been a member in a few Mommy facebook groups. But ya know what? People can be really obnoxious when it comes to parenting choices. Remember my horrible guilt about having to supplement because I sucked at pumping? And how I felt awful about stopping breastfeeding? Well, a lot of that came from being involved in a (very) Pro-Breastfeeding group on facebook. I eventually dropped the group because I was sick of feeling like a MomFail. My current love/hate relationship is with the Car Seats for the Littles facebook group. My heavens – some of those women are so quick to harp on others. I’m only hanging around to get answers for the best convertible seat for Ford (once I buy one – they’re getting deleted). I realize they are focused on safety – but some of the women get attacked for asking questions and criticized for their choices. New mommas need support not hurtful criticism. One of the facebook groups I DO like is Ask The Chicks – it’s generally pretty drama free and you see a lot more support (i.e. “we’ve all been there mama – hang in there” vs. “you’re doing it wrong, put some breast milk on it”).

MomFailyup… gotta love the guilt trip.

5. I’ve Become Immune to Baby Poop, Spit Up & Pee (& anything else Ford can throw at me)
I’m not one that gets easily skeeved out – but before Ford came along – baby poop and spit up? YUCK. But NOW? Ehh. It’s no big deal. Poop will wash off with soap (although – no harm in washing x 2! haha!) On Mother’s Day we went to the new aquarium in Sandy and after changing Ford’s diaper he spit up ALL over me. I mean EPIC spit up – down my shirt, in my hair and on my face. Josh (my brother) was dry heaving and I just used a baby wipe to clean my shirt as best I could and get my face clean, then put my hair in a ponytail. I was only slightly upset that I was going to HAVE to wash my hair the next morning (Are you grossed out that I didn’t wash it as soon as I got home? #dirtyhairdontcare). I go to work with baby drool and boogies on my shoulder daily, I usually don’t notice it until half way through the day. I have no shame.

New Momwait… it’s not?!

What things did you guys realize as a new Mom?
Did I miss anything?

**Also – I’m going to join Kendra’s #blogmoreinJune challenge. I need to be better about blogging more of the every day life stuff, especially with Ford growing up so dang fast!**

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Comments

  1. Denae says:

    Wow! I can relate to all points!! I have a 2.5 month old girl…great read thanks for posting! Also I think it’s your anniversary today it’s ours too! Congrats!

  2. Kendra says:

    Oh my gosh Ashley I love this post on so many levels. Just reading along saying “YESSSSSS sister” and giggling with ya! 1st of all your friendship is so special to me! How lucky am I to be able to call you my friend or “you know my Instagram friend Ashley” is usually how I refer to ya. Please move to TX Weston needs more buddies and I could work more if I had some help. Think of all the fun we would have! Yep still working on the dang baby weight. I try real hard not to make the “Mmmmm that must be nice” face when someone says it melted off with breastfeeding. Please! Ha and just today I told my friend who is vacationing with us this summer that she won’t be phased by baby drool at the end of the week. She was a little grossed out by it when Weston drenched her. Poop, pee, eh no big deal! Yep, yep, yep to the friend thing to. That one is not easy but you’re so right. Free time is short these days. Enrich those who enrich you! Love ya girl! Not in a creepy way!

    • Ashley says:

      LOL – I say the same – “my Instagram friend Kendra, ya know, the one from Texas”. I swear Diz thinks I’m a looney tune half the time. And the “Enrich those who enrich you” – that needs to be tattooed to my forehead so I can remember it EVERY day! Love ya (in a non-stalker way!)

  3. I absolutely LOVE motherhood maternity’s maternity underwear! sounds so weird, but it’s true. so comfortable. And…number 5 I just wrote about in my most recent post – it’s amazing how you become immune to bodily fluids in no time as a new mama!

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